© 2021 by Maria Muzdybaeva
4. Playground Blues
The rubber playground flooring
feels bouncy under your feet,
makes you remember
your childhood dreams
of becoming an astronaut
and walking on the Moon.
But it’s just a safety thing here,
and that annoys you:
you cherish your scars
and would like to think
they’ve taught you something
(although you’re not too sure).
So, are you just getting old
(“it didn’t use to be like this”),
or are we becoming soft—
are you becoming soft,
with your diet and exercise,
and with your work, of course,
which takes place in the space
of an open plan office?
A dead pigeon lies under the tree,
as if to prove your point:
pain can’t be contained.
Anyway, you’re not old,
just unlucky
to have lost someone already,
which, frankly, has taught you nothing,
nothing at all.
And if what you need now
is a meditation app
and a job with benefits,
isn’t that your right?
Well, let’s say it is, at least as long as
you still are unafraid
to scrape your knees
on the hard ground.